DRAWING

TEXT/DRAWING Jules van der Linden

“You will never touch me again.” 

Artist
Jules van der Linden

Year
2022

Country
Belgium

Format
Drawing

Material
Chalk pastels on paper

Dimensions
297x420mm

“You will nev­er touch me again.”

! TW: sex­u­al abuse, trauma

“EMDR ther­a­py has been incred­i­bly intense, but yes­ter­day I final­ly had a break­through. It took me about 6 weeks to final­ly access the mem­o­ry of my sex­u­al abuse with­out imme­di­ate­ly hav­ing a pan­ic attack, but we got there.

I need­ed to affirm for myself that my abuser no longer has any con­trol over me. The wounds have to drain out before they can heal. I need­ed to real­ly feel what hap­pened to me. That’s why I got inspired and picked up my art sup­plies again.
Dur­ing this ther­a­py jour­ney, I fol­low my dopamine and just do what my brain tells me will bring healing.

Mak­ing this piece has been real­ly affirm­ing and con­sol­ing to me.

As for the use of col­or: the yel­low and orange tones sym­bol­ise my girl­friend, who has been there for me through my heal­ing and always makes me feel safe. This safe­ty and sta­bil­i­ty is what I need to heal prop­er­ly. Orange and pink togeth­er make the les­bian flag, which sym­bol­is­es how safe and valid I feel in my iden­ti­ty. The blue tones sym­bol­ise my abuser, because the mem­o­ry of his hands on me is slow­ly fad­ing into the back­ground, just like his filth is slow­ly leav­ing my body like poi­son from a wound.”

Jules and their girl­friend. Pho­to: @aesthetxbyelvire

Jules is a queer artist from Bel­gium. Fol­low their work on Insta­gram: @jules.rassic.park

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